I’m pretty sure you’re wondering about the strange title – love yourself to lose weight. Self love and weight loss don’t seem to have anything in common, so what are they even doing in the same sentence? Well, on the surface you’re right, you can’t just ‘love’ away the extra kilos! However, when you look deep down, you’ll realize that the secret to becoming healthy and fit, and more importantly, staying that way has a whole lot to do with attitude. Still confused? Allow me to tell you a little story.

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It was my cousin’s wedding and I was super-excited. There were so many family members I hadn’t met in over a decade, and I was looking forward to catch up with everyone and just have a good time. However, my excitement was short-lived when I actually met my relatives. The first thing they said as soon as they set eyes on me wasn’t ‘Hello’ or ‘It’s been so long’; it was “Oh my God! You’ve become really huge! I didn’t recognize you; I thought you were a middle-aged aunty!”

You can imagine how mortified I felt; I wanted the earth to swallow me up! I wondered why I ever came to the wedding and why I ever strayed from the comfort of my home. All the way back from the wedding, negative thoughts like these were running through my mind and I ended up asking my husband if I was really as big as they said I was. In his usual frank style, my husband replied, “What they said was based on what they were looking at – your appearance. They didn’t see the real YOU; are you really worried about what people say about your appearance or about the real you?”

That was a light bulb moment for me.

I realized that while my body didn’t define myself as a person, it was an important part of who I am. It was mine and it worked perfectly well for all my needs. It wasn’t my body’s fault that it looked like this; it was only a natural consequence of the many indulgent desserts and hours of sitting I had subjected it to. This thought process led to a profound realization – I had actually been treating my body badly – and it was crying out for some love!

As women, we are experts at blaming and hating ourselves, and this extends to our bodies. We hate the way we look, and we pig out on ice cream to drown our sorrows. Our waist expands, clothes get tighter and we get upset again – rinse and repeat. The time has come for us to break out of this vicious cycle.

So how do you start loving yourself, and of course, your body? If you’ve spent several years having negative thoughts about yourself, a change in attitude can be hard, but it’s certainly possible. It all starts with thinking of your body as a sacred place, and deciding that you’re going to treat it the best way you can. To make things simpler, we’ve put together a list of actions for you to take to kick start your self love journey.

10 Ways to Love Yourself to Lose Weight

1. Accept your Body

First of all, accept the simple fact that this is the body you’ve been given, and it’s the only one you’ll get! Understand that your body is dynamic and it has the potential to change – treat it with love and it will love you back! Get comfortable with your body; look at yourself in the mirror and try to block negative thoughts. Get yourself good quality or organic body care products and spend time with them. Remember that your body deserves the best! If you can, splurge on some lovely lingerie; you’re guaranteed to feel great!

2. Make Time for Rest

Science says that women need more sleep than men, and also that sleep loss affects women more than men. Yet, in most of our homes, women wake up earliest and go to bed last. Try to ensure at least 7-8 hours of sleep at night, even if it means sleeping before your husband! Make sure your mattress and pillow are right for your body, so that you get the best sleep possible. Build a relaxing bedtime ritual, which could be as simple as ->brush->night wear->night cream->book->lights out. With time, your body will soon recognize these cues and you’ll fall asleep easier.

3. Eat on time

Many Moms, especially Indian Moms, have a sacrificial attitude when it comes to food. They think it’s criminal to eat before their child eats. The result is a harried, hungry Mom struggling with a picky toddler, and finally eating his lunch along with hers! It’s perfectly okay to eat your lunch first, if your toddler isn’t hungry yet – it’s only equivalent to putting on your own oxygen mask first. Try to listen to your body’s cues, and eat when you’re hungry not when others think is the ‘right’ time. For me, I usually feel hungry around 8:00 AM, 12:30 PM, 3:30 PM and 7:00 PM. These may seem a little early for some, but those are my body’s meal times!

4. Get the right Food

To make sure your body gets only the very best nutrition, you need to change your attitude to food. Associating food with reward, comfort, temptation, indulgence etc. can backfire and make it hard for you to change your eating patterns. Counting calories is exhausting and not very practical for a busy Mom, so it’s important to think of food in terms of nutrition. It’s what your body is going to use to enable you to run your day, so make sure it’s wholesome, natural, and that it’s not coming from a place where people are oppressed or overworked. Make sure your food is pure and reflects the sacred nature of your body. If you can grow your own vegetables and herbs, then there’s nothing like it!

5. Understand yourself

We’re constantly bombarded with information about the foods you ‘must’ include in your diet, most of which are things like berries, olive oil, pecan nuts, quinoa and other ‘foreign’ foods. If you’ve eaten traditional foods all your life, suddenly switching your diet can make you feel deprived and you’re unlikely to stick to it. Go ahead and eat your usual foods – just make sure they’re good for you. Listen closely to your body, and note down the times you’re most likely to snack or binge – bad day at work, returning from work, after the kids are asleep, watching TV etc.

6. Replace Bad Foods (and Habits)

We’ve already established that your body is a sacred place and you’re only going to let good things go in. That means tossing all the garbage in your pantry and avoiding junk when you go out, but this is easier said than done. Just deciding that you won’t eat a bag of chips after work isn’t enough, you need to replace that with a bowl of cut fruit. By relpacing a bad habit with a good one, you’re less likely to feel deprived. The same goes for excessive cups of coffee or that after-dinner dessert.

7. Make Meals Interesting

We’ve said that you need to look at food as fuel for your body, but your body also consumes food through its senses. The way the food look, tastes and feels – are all important to help you enjoy your meal so that your mind and body are completely satisfied. As you can imagine – that’s the secret to not overeating! Get out the nice plates and cutlery. Use lots of colors in your food to improve its visual appeal and include all food groups for a perfect, balanced meal that’ll nourish both your body and your soul. Equally important is taking out the time to sit and eat your meal in peace, preferably not in front of the TV!

8. Increase Daily Activity

For many of us, exercise is a scary word – it conjures up images of aching muscles, boring routines and waking up at the crack of dawn. The best way to make exercise a part of your daily life is to think of your body as a machine that’ll rust if you let it just rest all the time. You need all your joints and muscles well-lubricated and strong so that you won’t be breaking bones at the slightest fall in your old age! Walk wherever you can for errands, do most of your work standing, and stretch while watching TV. You’ll soon find that you actually like moving your body rather than being sedentary.

9. Get in a Daily Workout

Once you’re used to moving your body everyday, start introducing some time exclusively to workout. If you’re an absolute beginner, start with 15 minutes and with a low intensity. You can increase both as you build strength and stamina. It’s important to choose a workout that you enjoy, and not what’s currently in vogue. If the treadmill bores you to tears, leave it! If you just can’t see the charm in yoga, it’s okay – do what you like! You can also mix and match so there’s variety. As your body’s flexibility increases, you’ll be surprised at the things you’ll be able to do – stuff you thought your body would never be able to! And this will only make you love your body more, and push it to try more challenging moves.

10. Take each day as it comes

The most important tip of all – please don’t try to make all these changes in your life at once – it’ll be a disaster! Choose one – just one – and go with it till you think you’re ready to move on to the next. At every stage, follow your body’s cues; for instance, you might need a few days of sleeping in till your body’s satisfied and you can make do with 7-8 hours a night. Also, you might think that it’s okay to pig out today; you’ll make up with exercise tomorrow – but don’t do that! Every day is special; and every bite or every movement makes a difference, so make sure you think of your body’s well being before making any decision.

Now you might think that some (or most) of these are impractical, especially if you have a very young child. But that’s what we’re here for! Our community is all about Moms, so don’t feel overwhelmed and start slow, really slow. As long as you’re making progress, the speed doesn’t matter – you’ll get there eventually. The important thing is that all your choices stem from the intention to love yourself and not from hate, guilt or regret. So Moms, take one step at a time and keep moving forward, we’re all in this together!