Before going to discuss how to keep the romance alive after baby, let’s reflect on the journey you and your partner have embarked upon. After 9 months of the wonderful wait, anxiety, mixed emotions, and preparations, comes home the tiny miracle that you and your partner created.

Oh! How much you both love this tiny creature and promise yourselves, each day, to give your best to your little baby.

The long days and sleepless nights eventually begin to take over on both, the new mother and the new father. The differences of opinion are now too many. Before you know it, every night, you have that one tiny fight that you take to bed.

“Did you sanitize your hands after changing the diaper?

“Yes, I did. You cannot sanitize the entire house now, can you? Stop being so finicky.

“Is it not good that I care about the well-being of our son?”

“Oh! You mean I don’t care about the well-being of our only child!”

“When did I say that? “

“Oh! C’mon…”

If you are smiling, reading this, and this is your story too, read on to discover how to keep the romance alive after baby and nurture the love between mom and dad

Magical Ways to keep Romance Alive After Baby

1. Common object of Love

Imagine a sports bar full of people watching a cricket series between India and Pakistan. The atmosphere is electric as their common passion for the game leads to intense emotions. When a catch is missed, angry and abusive words fill the air, and when their favorite team scores, the bar erupts with joy. Even someone passing by can feel the intensity of the emotions inside.

Now, as you and your partner, who come from different backgrounds and perspectives, embrace parenthood, you have a new common passion: keeping the romance alive after the baby arrives. The emotions are abundant, but amidst it all, remember that nurturing your relationship is crucial. Embrace open communication, create quality time together, and prioritize intimacy to maintain the spark and keep the romance alive after baby.

2. Set Basic Rules for immediate family

“Your mother wants me to stop breastfeeding the baby at 6 months!”

“My mother said it’s okay to give a little honey if the baby has a cold!”

The mother vs. mother-in-law clash is a common challenge among new parents. It often becomes a heated issue that leads to arguments and disputes. To navigate such situations, establish basic ground rules. Trust the guidance of a reliable and experienced pediatrician to make informed decisions regarding your child’s health.

Don’t let personal conflicts with your family or in-laws interfere with the parenting approach you want to embrace. While grandparents offer love, they may also offer unsolicited advice. As Baz Luhrmann wisely said in his famous song “Everybody’s Free,” “Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.” Remember, advice is often rooted in nostalgia and should be taken with a grain of salt. Focus on what’s best for your child and value the wisdom that truly supports your parenting journey, keeping the romance alive after baby.

3. Win of the 3 letter (EGO) over the 4 letter (LOVE)

“I have been feeding, cooking, attending to the maids all day, and I asked you to do one job of packing the diaper bag! Now where are the wipes.” blurted Reena in the crowded mall.

“I must have forgotten, relax ill go and get it from the medical downstairs.” said Rakesh.

“It’s not about getting it now. You always forget such things. You always think it’s my job to pack everything.”

“When did I say that? Do I not help you as much as I can.” And thus ended the beautiful Sunday evening.

“Children come through you but not from you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.” said Khalil Gibran.

Ego. We have all heard of it and we know the damage it can cause to relationships. But how do we assess if our ego is ruling our fights? Ask yourself 3 simple questions in a situation like this :

• Am I constantly trying to prove that ‘I am (or my method is) right and you are (or your method is) wrong?’
• Am I always concentrating on how my partner said it rather than WHAT he said?
• In a crisis scenario, do I first evaluate, ‘Whose fault is it’? Or ‘How to solve this crisis?’

Your common goals of raising this wonderful miracle have got you here. Don’t Let Ego take away the fun and laughter from raising this tiny miracle. , and keep the romance alive after baby.

4. Hugs !

A newborn means a lot of hugs and a lot of smiles. While we enjoy this phase, till they become teenagers and want to get rid of us parents (Oh, how I dread this already!), do we hug our partners as often?

Sometimes it’s better to put Love into Hugs rather than putting it into words. When all fails, a hug won’t! End each night with a hug so that we let go of this day and reduce our baggage. (Have you noticed, how women with lesser baggage of the past, need lesser under eye creams and lesser anti aging J )

Marriage involves a union of two very different people, who come from 4 other very different people, which makes it 6 different thought processes already. Not to forget, the agony aunts, nosy neighbours and the hundreds of websites we click in a day that influence our thought patterns. Having a baby just multiplies all this by 10 times. Everybody has an opinion of what you must and must not do for your little one.

The constant guilt that the mother is infested with right from when she hears the nurse go, “Congratulations, you are pregnant!!”

‘Am I having the right food for my unborn?’

‘Am I walking enough to have a normal delivery?’ and right up to ‘Is it ok to night feed my toddler.’

And it doesn’t end there. With fear, guilt, exhaustion, and the uncertainty that comes with parenting, we often cloud our judgment. So, the next time a disagreement arises, be the first to offer a hug, embracing the love and understanding that can bridge any gap. Let’s keep the romance alive after baby and cherish the power of a simple, heartfelt embrace.

Happy parents, raise Happy Babies !! 

Author

Mansi Nipun Gupta is a Psychotherapist and a Relationship Counselor. With a soon to be 1 year old naughty son, Mansi currently teaches and counsels students from various backgrounds. With her innovative learning methodologies and student management skills, she coaches students for life skills and academics. She also conducts seminars on parenting and relationship management.